


Leave My Body (Moving Up To Higher Ground)

by fightlikeagirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergent, M/M, SRS2012, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fightlikeagirl/pseuds/fightlikeagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not always about giving in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave My Body (Moving Up To Higher Ground)

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from SRS2012: “Sam/Lucifer/Gabriel, they have similar tastes; Sam may not be Gabriel’s vessel, and he may not be willing to say yes to the devil, but that doesn’t mean the angels will leave him alone. And sometimes Sam doesn’t have it in him to tell them no.”

"You should say yes," Gabriel says quietly, lying on his back next to Sam.

"I'm dreaming," Sam says, peering at Gabriel.

"Of course you're dreaming," he says impatiently. "You should say yes." He's staring at the ceiling, not making eye contact with Sam, his hands folded neatly behind his head. He's still fully dressed, the same green utility jacket he'd been wearing when they'd left him drenched in the warehouse.

"I'm not going to," Sam says firmly. "Is this your new plan? Harass me and Dean until we're so tired of you we say yes just to get you to shut up?"

Gabriel turns his head to look at Sam. "I'm not harassing Dean."

"Why not?" he asks, feeling puzzled.

Gabriel doesn't answer. "You want to," he says, after a long silence. "I know you want to."

Sam sits up, turning to look at Gabriel and frowning. "What makes you say that?"

He gives a short, hollow laugh. "I've seen your heart, Sam Winchester, and it belongs to my brother. You're broken. There's a part of you missing, and you're just starting to realize where it is. You want to say yes."

He doesn't want to listen to this. He doesn't need to listen to this. "You're wrong."

Gabriel just looks at him, long and considering. "No," he says finally. "I'm not."

Sam wakes up. He tells himself that he'd rather have Gabriel acting pensive and sad at him in his dreams than Lucifer trying to tell him earnestly about his destiny.

\--

"You're a lot like him, you know," Gabriel says.

"I'm not," Sam insists.

"You are," Gabriel says. "You're both stubborn to a fault—so unwilling to do what's best for you, just because someone else wants you to. So determined to make your own choices, even when they're boneheadedly stupid choices."

"You think letting Lucifer hitch a ride in my _body_ is what's best for me?" Sam snorts.

"It's the only thing that's gonna fill up that hole in your chest, Sammy," Gabriel says. "Maybe I just have your best interests at heart."

"You're funny," Sam says. "You're goddamn hilarious, you know that?"

\--

"He needs you," Gabriel says, the next time he falls asleep.

Sam looks at him in disbelief. "That's your new angle?"

"It's not an angle," he says. "His vessel's burning up. He's dying. You can't possibly imagine what that's like. But he won't make you say yes. He'll keep waiting for you to say it on your own. Like I said, he's stubborn, too."

"He's the devil," Sam says helplessly.

"He wasn't always," Gabriel says, and then he turns to look directly at Sam, the gold-brown of his eyes piercing him through. "I just want him _back_ ," he whispers, and he sounds desperate, broken. It makes Sam want to reach out, push his hair away from his face, run a hand through his hair. He wonders how much of that is him, and how much is Lucifer.

His hand is twitching by his side when he wakes up, sudden and abrupt, feeling an odd sense of loss.

\--

It's an odd change when the next time he falls asleep he wakes to Lucifer's cold blue gaze staring at him.

"Oh," he says. "It's you."

"Were you expecting someone else?" Lucifer asks, sounding amused.

"No—well, yeah, I guess," he says, feeling unaccountably exhausted. "You brother's been haranguing me."

"I have a lot of brothers, Sam," Lucifer reminds him gently.

He wonders if this is something he should be revealing. But there's something that makes it hard to lie to Lucifer, or even just withhold information. "Gabriel," he says, and watches as Lucifer's eyes widen slightly.

"Gabriel," he says, voice sounding carefully neutral. "You've been talking to Gabriel."

"Yeah," Sam says. "Mostly he's been talking at me."

"Yes," Lucifer says absently. He sounds distracted, pacing beside the bed, looking fidgety.

"Are you alright?" he asks curiously.

Lucifer glances at him, and vanishes. He's not sure what's just happened, but he has the sense that it's important.

\--

"He misses you," Sam says casually.

"He left," Lucifer mutters. "He abandoned us all. That was his choice."

"Just like it was your choice to fall?" Sam asks.

Lucifer looks at him sharply. "That's different."

\--

There's a hand carding through his hair.

"Say yes."

"I won't," he says, feeling sleepy and comfortable. 

Gabriel sighs into his hair. "You're exhausted. You're running out of strength, of places to hide. You want to let him in."

"I'm not going to," Sam says.

"He's going to burn for you, if you don't. He's already burning for you."

"Stop trying to convince me he really cares about me and that he's just misunderstood," Sam says, yawning.

"Sam," Gabriel says, stroking a hand down his neck. "Please." His voice is starting to sound broken again.

"You said 'please'," Sam says, feeling surprised. "You've never said that before."

"Don't go thinking it means you're special," Gabriel says.

"That's a thing I've been thinking about, actually," Sam says, and the hand on his neck tightens briefly. He continues anyway. "You said yourself that you haven't been off bothering Dean. Just me. Which makes me think that it's not about the Apocalypse anymore. Not really."

"Sam," Gabriel says warningly, but Sam ignores him.

"It's about Lucifer, isn't it?" he says. "It's because you love him. That's why you're doing this."

He's startled by the force of Gabriel's reaction, swinging himself over to place his knees on either side of Sam, pinning his hands above his head on the headboard. "You have _no idea_ what you're talking about," he says, and there's fury, terrifying righteous fury in his eyes. "Don't talk about things you don't understand. You don't know me, you don't know my family."

He shouldn't push this. He knows he shouldn't push this, but there's a difference between knowing something and doing it, and he's never been very good at keeping away from danger. "You're trying to save him," Sam says, and Gabriel's fingers tighten painfully around his wrists, making him wince. He's strong, stronger than he should be, in such a small body, could probably easily overpower Sam. He leans down, his face too close to Sam's, and he thinks, how easy it would be to close the rest of that distance. Gabriel's tongue darts out over his lips, and he's not even thinking about it, he's not even thinking—he leans up, and kisses him.

Gabriel lets go of his wrists, looking like he's been burned. Sam feels a small amount of satisfaction at being able to startle an archangel, but he doesn't have time to savor it before Gabriel's disappearing in a flutter of beating wings.

\--

Lucifer's face is stormy the next time Sam sees him. He strides over to Sam in what looks like a calculatedly dramatic walk, wrapping his fingers around Sam's chin and tilting his face up. He tries to fight the grip, but it's like iron.

"What the hell, man, let me go," he complains.

"He could never keep his hands off my toys," Lucifer says. "I should have known he wouldn't have changed."

He has a sinking feeling he knows exactly what Lucifer's talking about.

"He kissed you," Lucifer says, stating it as a fact.

"He didn't," Sam says, and Lucifer's face twists in confusion. "I kissed him," he says.

There's naked rage in his eyes. "Sam," he says.

"He misses you," Sam says again. "He thinks he can save you."

Something in Lucifer's face breaks. "He can't," he says quietly. "I'm beyond saving. I've been so for a very, very long time."

His words make something ache in Sam's gut. "Am I beyond saving?"

Lucifer stares at him, looking startled by the question. "I don't want you to be," he says, like it's an unexpected admittance. Sam—Sam considers his position.

\--

He barely has a chance to open his eyes before Gabriel's lifting him up, pinning him up against the wall.

"You can't do something like that, Sam," he says furiously.

"Gabriel—Jesus _Christ_ , let me down," Sam says, gasping for breath.

"He loves you, can't you see?" Gabriel demands. "You have to say yes, Sam, I can't keep doing this. Please, just say yes."

Something occurs to him. "And if I do?" he asks. "What are you going to do then?"

Gabriel doesn't answer him.

"Will you let me kiss you then?" he asks. "When it's really Lucifer, wearing my skin?"

"You don't want to go here, Sam," Gabriel warns.

"Will I still be in there?" Sam asks, pressing harder. "Will it be both of us kissing you? Me and Lucifer? Is that what you want?"

"Sam, _stop it_ ," Gabriel says, pushing his arm into Sam's throat. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"You keep saying that," Sam gasps. He's playing a dangerous game here, he knows, but he can't seem to shut his own mouth. "What are you afraid of? That he's going to find out how much you love him?"

" _Sam_ ," Gabriel says.

He wakes up.

\--

"Tell him you love him," Sam demands. Lucifer looks impassive.

"It's not meant to be," he says. "Not like you and I. You can't fight destiny."

Sam wants to laugh. He wants to scream and throw his hands in the air, because dealing any angels, much less archangels, is like dealing with very small children sometimes.

"It doesn't have to be like that," he insists. "You two are both so fixated on what my destiny is supposed to be—I don't see what it's such a big deal to change some details. Surely it couldn't all have been written down, every last part. There must have been some room to maneuver."

Lucifer looks at him consideringly. "When you kissed him," he begins, "what were you trying to do?"

Okay, he thinks. Maybe he's making some headway here. "I was thinking," he replies, "that you had broken him. And I wanted to hold him until his pieces fit together again."

Lucifer frowns. "You're not his vessel. It's not your duty to fix him."

"It's not my duty to fix you, either," he argues. "I'm making my own choices." Sam takes in a breath, and leans forward to rest his forehead against Lucifer's. Lucifer's hand comes forward to rest on his shoulder, and he's not really surprised at how natural it feels there. "I'm going to fix you because I want to. Not because I have to."

"Sam," Lucifer says, sounding quietly reverent.

"Tell him you love him," Sam says. "And I'll say yes."


End file.
